im constantly paranoid, Its something i cannot control myself, i will always think of the worst and most outlandish things and start to believe its actually happening, i hate thinking out in public because i think people are reading my thoughts and think im a freak, or psyche myself up thinking that everybody knows what im doing in my free time and just act normal even though they "know" how much of a disgusting person i am. its not even about how people perceive me at this point either, ive been getting ghosted from job after another and i genuinely believed that it was because someone was calling in and telling them how much i suck or something. i know it doesnt seem like much but its not something i can control and it just spirals, i constantly wonder if there is something really wrong