There is no real love there anymore. I will never tell, he will never know. I cheated and I probably will again. I cheated emotionally and physically and I don’t know if I care. I know it’s bad, I hate myself for doing it but i haven’t felt like he cares for me, loves me or even likes me in years. I want to be wanted. I’m so tired of being the only one to initiate anything in our relationship. I initiate dates, I initiate sex, I initiate a kiss goodbye before work. Why couldn’t he have done that, just once? Why does it feel like I’m always the problem? I was madly, deeply in love with this man, until 2 months ago when I felt him pulling away. I think he’s cheating too, not physically yet but emotionally for sure. I love this man, but I don’t know if I can be in love with him anymore. He’s given up on me and on us. He doesn’t want me anymore, I can tell. I’m a bad person, I know that.