To follow up on what I said i tried to understand it has gotten to the point I have said okay, I go quiet. I just take it. I have been told im to quiet hell I dont even interact with my own family. I sit quietly wanting to dissappear. Don't voice my opinions. Staying quiet feels easier than being blamed for speaking, having preferences or telling the truth. My head will never let go. My mum said: “You’re the cause of every fight, I miss the girl you used to be, you’re difficult, you ruin everything, your moods are the issue, why bother coming if you’re going to be moody, why do you always put a face on, you should have stayed home, you’re useless, and we have to walk on eggshells because of you.” My sister said: “Don’t be assy with your words, it triggers Mum,” even though all I asked was whether we were going out. She also called me a “freeloader,” despite me usually using public transport, rarely asking for lifts and even paying for petrol.