Once a year I go into a manic state. It lasts for about a week. I have no memory of the week, and I usually don’t know when it started. It’s either a week of being so low I can’t move, or a week of me spending all my money and feeling like I’m invincible and can do whatever I want. This week my mother said “you seem like it’s happening.” I didn’t believe her at first, as any manic person would. However, now I’m laying in my bed, thinking about how much I wanna bang my head against a wall, and I’m realizing she right. I can’t move. Even my thumbs feel heavy as I’m typing. I wanna sleep for the next 12 years. I just wish there was something that could help this. I’ve talked with doctors, psychologists, etc, and they all tell me the same thing. “Just hang in there” “It’s a matter of control”. Do you really think I’d be sitting here hoping a plane crashed into my house and kills me if I could control it????