So I just got drunk for the first time actively while I write this and ik it clouds your mind and what not I but I am really thinking cuz I just texted this girl I have liked we tried 1 time but I did not work out and she said she has to think about it and I respect it totally because people are independent but I just don’t know how to respond to my emotions I just shut down I have a therapist but it’s all one sided because that’s just how it is but I just don’t know anymore how to deal with this because I have done something’s that where just not ok and I just don’t know because after doing those things I just don’t know how to deal with it all a life is just 1 in a many and what is mine? What is yours worth what is mine it’s all the same if I died tmr how would I look on this and say wow did u have a good run or did life just give you a run for your money I just don’t get it maybe because I’m young but it just don’t make sense to me- if you read all that I really appreciate it