Idk I am feeling like a wreck. There is this deep feeling of me always trying to make people I appreciate feel good and help them if they feeld bad. I feel like I would even die if I could make a difference. I just dont feel anything else then making a person happy and its destroying me but I cant stop. I feel so dependet but not in a way of being appreciate I just cant figure out how to be happy in live otherwise. In addition to this I struggle alot with the urge of love. I love a person so mich to the point of making me feel like I wanna rip my brain apart but I hold rather hold all my year long feelings back to help them overcome their problems. I often thought on killing myself not understanding anything about all this bullshit but at the end I couldnt I was way to scared.