I’m so tired of schoolwork. I just don’t want to do this anymore. I keep thinking of killing myself with meds or jumping off. My head hurts, I can’t concentrate, I keep hurting myself. I don’t know why I laugh still, like some kid. I want to rip of the top layer of my skin, put rubbing alcohol on the flesh, and rub the skin on the flesh violently to the point the top layer becomes shreds of what it used to be. I want to eat 30 pills and just die on my couch. I want to jump off my balcony and feel the breaking in my neck. I want to go to bed and not wake up the next day. I want to stab myself with a rusty blade, twisting and turning it as it goes through my blood red flesh, putting rust all over the walls of the hole I made. I want to drown into the sea, feel the water go through my nose and mouth until it fills my lungs and I die from induced drowning. I want to die from some random car crash, any crash just for me. I want my head to stop hurting. Why does it hurt to wake up?