my mom is so narcisist. i hate her but i love her. but i cant wait to move out, but im too scared to hurt her feelings. oh god i hate my self why cant i just make a decision for my own. i fucking hate this life. i keep puncing my self to make me forget about the bad things for a while. sometimes i just want to stay on bed and cry. i lost all my motivation i used to love drawing but now i dont even have creativity. im so ugly i dont even think someone could love me, i always wanted to feel love for someone but what the hell is love!? i never vented to someone face to face, im sorry if im talking about a lot of things in one rant. i hate birthdays, school, decisions, me, my body, my face, my thoughts, everything.