I wish I was born a different person. Being locked up all the time felt so damaging. I’m supposed to be asleep but these things race across. And I’m too busy to face them so now’s the best time. I might sacrifice my sleep but it’s good to get it out.i have bad thoughts that resurface my mind. They come up at the worst times and it feels like my head is spinning, and the memories just spin across my mind and emerge like it’s taunting me. Like it’s meant to destroy me. And my vision gets blurry from the tears and they just run nonstop and I feel like the biggest loser in the world. I feel so alone. My parents just get mad when I cry and tell me I’m too sensitive or that I cry to manipulate them. I don’t have friends I talk to outside of the school. I try to include myself but they show that they don’t wanna include me so I just distance myself. I’m not allowed to hangout with people so I’m alone all the time. I’m 18 and my teen years felt like an empty waste. Nothing fun or interesting.