im worried im turning into a necrophile. i grew up watching gore and adult stuff. my mom would show me it on her phone, and id watch. i dont know why. then it developed into me going out and watching gore on my own. i was already cutting myself beforehand, out of frustration. but as of late its gotten a lot worse. i cut out of frustration, and i go deep. i cut out of a want to see blood, and i cover my thighs and wrists with cuts until everything feels numb. i dont want to turn into a necrophile. i would never touch or abuse someone/somethings dead body. i think that would be disgusting. it doesn't feel as bad when i draw art of it, but i still feel like ill get called out for it and be bombarded with death threats, and end up killing myself. yet i want to share my art and be accepted. i dont know whats wrong with me. why i enjoy writing stories about my characters killing each other then masturbating with their organs. why i enjoy cutting and playing with the blood. i need therapy.