this is about everything just.... EVERYTHING. I've been silent for too long. and I don't know how to talk to people anymore. I don't know how to ask for help anymore, when everyone just assumed I'm fine and i will manage like i always do. but the urges get strongerand I'm scared. the urges to hurt myself, the urges to kill myself. i obsess over it, so fucking much, and I can't fix it, I can't do anything about it. there's so much within me that's wrong. so much i can't fix it anymore. I've been broken for so long it's all who i am. I'd lose myself either way. im beyond help. im too alone. noone knows eventhe smallest fragment of it. itold my boyfriend i nearlykilled myself anf it was a call for help, and he brushed it off. for YEARS, everything i do to improve my life, everything just gets fucking worse without exeption. i work, i go to college, i have no financial support. i wake up at 5 and get home at midnight. i get one free day in a week, if i'm lucky. and i just have one though