i’ve had this friendship for 5 years, it was going well at first until it started to go downhill, we both became the total opposite of one another. We started to self sabotage, manipulate one another etc. She has BPD and i’m audhd with epilepsy. I’ve never experienced a friendship so doomed within my lifetime too the point it’s making me question my own opinions on myself. i feel like i ask for too much from her despite my stubborness, forgetfulness, delusional behaviour, she still stayed no matter what and i think that’s what made me feel even worse, she can’t let go off of a friendship that’s doomed to fail while i’ve grown up however, next year she gets kicked out of her parents house and that’s when she’s planning to commit suicide, i’m feeling alot of difficult emotions because i know i can’t stop this from happening but despite my horrible behaviour towards her i know im going to feel the dread when she does do it. I’m stuck, extremely stuck, i’m horrible.