i know i live a privileged life. i have a roof over my head, food on my table and a bed to sleep. and i feel thats alli have. i feel like im an ambitious woman who has so much of potential yet i am not doing anything. i keep doom scrolling and consuming shit over internet. i should be studying. there are days i feel superior to some people and days that humble me or should i say kick me back to the earth. i feel like an underachiever most of the time and all i wanna do is complain how shitty my life is. i have a boyfriend who i feel loves me and loves me not. there is this constant insecurity he is spending time with some other girl while he actually has no girl in his life. i want to leave my parents house and just get out. i dont remember the last time i ever laughed with my heart out. all i think i do is cry my heart out. i pretend i am happy but im not. i just wanna vanish for some time. just breathe a little because i think i have fogotten how to do that too