one of my animals needs veterinary care and i just dont have the funds for it right now. things keep popping up and i cant help but worry im going to come home and find him dead waiting for me at the door. and im trying really hard not to freak out sbt it snd to do my job but no body realizes if this animal dies im genuinely going to kill myself. he has been my crutch while i’ve been adjusting and i dont know how i will live if this animal dies in my care, especially one thats helped me so much. and ik i need to grow the fuck up and stop relying on an animal for my mental health but he is the only reason i have kept going for so long. to give this stupid dog the life he deserves and so he won’t be sad if i died. but if hes dead i have nothing to keep going on for