I want to ask for help but I dont want to be a burden. I don't want it be judged. I don't want to be seen. I wish I would let my walls down but here I am alone and lying again. "are you ok?" "Hm? Oh, yeah!" "Are you mad?" "No, not at all!" Its all a lie. I wish I would stop but I won't and don't want to. Idk what I want anymore. I want people to be happy. That is my purpose: make others OK. But why do I do this to myself? I should be asleep. I'm not and I cant. I should be resting so I might have a CHANCE of getting into the sport I want but instead here I am saying something useless that probably won't help me. Just like me pretending to make remixes of relatable songs so they fit me perfectly. I wish I would break and tell but I've heard the horror stories of mental hospitals. I don't want people to judge or treat me like glass. I want to be seen, known,accepted, but how can I do that if nothing comes out but tears talking about something small? That's what all my problems are. Small