I don't know. I don't like anything at all. I don't like myself and I don't believe I am worthy to receive anything good at all. But I want to. Is that why I get attached so quickly? It's not even love. It's not even reciprocal. It's just fantasizing and limerence. Her face never leaves my mind. Her lovely, beautiful face and it's disgusting how much I dedicate myself to this. There's so much more for me to do. I'm not too old yet, so why am I wasting my time on this? It's stupid. I could never imagine hurting myself over something like this, but it's still such an unreal, gorgeous, ugly feeling. God, I hate it. She doesn't even care. I'm just a person to her. What's the use? I can chase her all I want. But she will stay away. She will be neutral. She will not treat me specially. She will not try to be my friend. There is a clear boundary. I need to stop. I don't know what my problem is. If I can't stop thinking about her and I get pissed off at everything else, I must be crazy.