i dont get why but when im with other people im so happy but whenever im in my room alone at night i just wonder why im like this. maybe im so happy around others because its a coping mechanism? i just wonder why everything feels so much heavier and i have so much to think about when im alone. i always wondered how it would feel if i just let my life go, but i am religious. i have always believed that god would punish me if i ended my life but i always wondered, every time i asked for help why i never got it. i just want to sleep peacefully.
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