I hate how deprived of money we are. I hate how when I have some of it, it ends up being for my family and not for myself. I hate how everything in my life is not meant for me. I hate how financially deprived I am. I hate that I can't be myself because I can't afford the person I want myself to be. I hate how my father does not even care, and how he does not have a provider mindset like the other dads are in the world. I hate how my mom thinks that I am the backup if my dad can't provide. I hate how everything feels so deep, and I don't know how to swim back up. I can't even have something for myself. I hate this life. I hate myself. I hate how God himself does not even listen even though I have been praying my whole life. I hate how he does not even answer even just to ignite a spark within me, nothing. I hate how everything I am is not the person I want to be.