I keep myself to myself I dunno if I have problems expressing my emotions to people or even dealing with them myself I always tell myself I’m mentally strong enough to figure anything out myself due to what I’ve experienced and always believed this and was obviously naive. I hate a pitty party and it feels uncomfortable typing this even though it’s somewhat anonymous, I lost my father when I was 11 (2012). I don’t even know how I felt at the time I couldn’t comprehend the fact I’d never see him again. But eventually over time I accepted he’d never see me become an adult and start a family and anything else you could possibly wish your parent see you become, i hurt but I made myself get over it I still had my mother and my sisters. But my mother died 10 months ago, I was 23 now 24 and all this bullshit mental fortitude I convinced myself I had over the years is gone, I can’t get over the fact my mothers never gonna hold my children or see me achieve everything she thought I would.