I don't have an intro, but I just hate myself. Even though I make good grades and my family life is good, I still want to kill myself. My friend, I'll call her R, has the perfect body, she is a good height and she and skinny. She plays volleyball and is amazing. I am not any of that. I am a little shorter than her, but fat, I am overweight. R starves herself, one protein bar a day and she is perfect. I try to stop eating but I get hungry and just eat like the fat fucking pig I am. R has a boyfriend and so many people at school has a crush on her. Why did I have to be born a lustful, gluttonous bitch. No one has a crush on me. I have a crush on 2 boys, but of course, they both have girlfriends, who are skinny, athletic, and drop dead gorgeous. So you know what, I will no longer eat, I will eat a stick of gum and water to keep myself distracted and full. I will exercise and join a sport. I will change, I want to have my friends life. R is perfect. I will be skinny, and get a boyfriend.