I can’t keep a job. I can’t finish my studies. I can’t find a reason to get out of bed. I can’t keep living without feeling like a complete waste of oxygen and resources. I should die. I should cut my arms open and die. My partner doesn’t deserve to carry a burden like me. My family doesn’t deserve to carry a burden like me. My friends don’t deserve to carry a burden like me. I think about killing myself too often. And the only thing keeping me grounded is my cat. My poor, sweet boy who is my only light, even if he doesn’t let me sleep much at night. But he’s still my sunshine. I don’t want to live past my current age if I can’t change. I want to swallow so many old pills and fall asleep in bed. I don’t want to burden anyone anymore. I only want this dread to end.