I wish I could say I hate my parents for being homophobic. The things they have done to me, everything they took away. But I can't. My dad used to hit me. Not badly, but enough and angrily so I was scared of him. But he was just a kid once too, and I feel like I need to give him something tender he will never give me. My mother screamed at me when she found out I loved a girl, but she lost her mother young and I hate her when she spits those insults at me but I regret it so much because she is human too. I went to a yogurt place with a friend today and I saw a family with their young kid. I lost that a while ago. I know I'll have to leave home or stay in hell for the rest of my life, and it should be an obvious choice but they were good to me once. They were young once. They were raised to hate like I was. I want their love but I won't get it. My mother calls me selfish. So much. I am selfish. I give them the love I want from them, and I see the kids they were but I'll never be theirs