all I want to do it get worse. I want it so bad but I have people who care about me, so I can't. I want to try for them because I should be lucky to have them, even if it's only two people thats more than alot.My other friends use me and don't really like me, i know thatidc But I just want to cut myself and I just want to take benny and I just want to browse gore and rot in my filthy fucking room and watch anime and play games and get drunk and not eat or take care of myself. I know it's so fucking lame to want and feel comfortable in,whats wrong with me it's what I want so bad. I live a double life, but you'll catch on and Im so sorry im so sorry. I haven't cut myself or got drunk or took benny in a while The gore is ok right?? I like it I just like it Im getttinf better as long as im doing something right?I am better but I still have pleasures, ijust am mixing what we both want together and I can get close with people. Mabe idk, do I wsjr that?i want you to justlike me and be ok.