I don't feel human not like oh I feel so sad I mean I do but I mean like I feel like I'm not supposed to be here no one should ever live or go through what I have gone through and I don't mean other people's feelings aren't valid bc they are it's just I always get into the worst relationships and when I do become friends with someone I will like them and she doesn't like me back prob and I've been r*ped someone tried to do that 3 times I got r*ped by my cousin and I feel so disgusting and I have a new friend but I don't want to be her friend bc everytime I don't respond(prob from being buissy crying re-filling social battery or something else)she hurts herself today she even said she was going to kill herself bc I wasn't responding I literally have a self harm list in almost a month I have crossed of 71 lines I just want to die and I have many disorders most dangerous ones are bi poler disorder and my eating disorder but I have no one to talk to so I have to deal with this like always