I've been unable to have friends—but it's not like i have any at all. since i've entered highschool, nobody has talked to me and my only companion has also ended communication. i rely on my two siblings to keep me company, since i'm going through some medical obstacles in life—imagine having three spinal injuries as well as unexplained joint pain, muscle tightening, and inflammation. it's hard being me, but i know it's hard for others as well. sometimes, and i sometimes wish that it were only i. pain is hard to deal with, and i already feel guilty being in pain all the time. i want to wither away, or become a painting that's unable to be torn or smudged. then, with me all pain would end, because i realize that my existence is pain. agony, agony is all i'll ever feel, and it's so hard to come to terms with the very fact i'm doing this alone. i'll forever be alone, and all i'll ever feel is hurt. sometimes, i just wish that nobody felt pain like i did—that nobody could hurt like i do.