I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die but my conscience can't handle it. I can't leave my mom alone, I can't leave her with an embarrassment like me and if I die the sacrifices she did and the specific sorrow and heartache she will feel will crush me even in the afterlife. I can't leave my mom with the life we have right now at least I need to give her c9mfort and everything she deserves before I go. At this point the only thing that is still keeping me from leaving is my mom. But every day I feel like I'm burning out little by little, piece by piece. I can't explain it but the more I stay, the more that I feel miserable, the more I stay I feel like I'm losing myself. Sadly tomorrow will be another day of deceit and act as if nothing is going on and everything is okay.. fine... happy. When will my day come? But then again... I wanna die but my conscience can't handle it.