im not the best friend. my closest friend has someone else and even then they dont have a normal emotional system and they say things which hurt. I have another friend who is the sweetest ever, but she has others and also its draining being with her because of how much affection goes both ways. my other best friends hate me. in face i hate the term best friend. i dont have one. thats a lie the first person mentioned is i talk to them every day but its not friendship like i wish it was. oh and then i have a few people i talk to i have a ton of not close friends and online friends but i dont have that one person i can trust with my life to choose me in every universe. i dont think i deserve one. i dont need one. id feel guilty because theres other people who deserve that place but i refuse to give it to them. what about the 5 others who i love with my heart what about them? i have to at like im fine because i cant burden epople over small things that dont acutally matter. im so pathetic.