literally nobody knows how to fucking help me bruh ive gone to more therapists online and irl than i can count and im getting WORSE??? health professionals only know how to help the abused but not the abusers. i hate how weird i am with people not an "omg im so quirky around people!!" way but like. i want people to love me but when i get love i push them away and im at CONSTANT highs and lows its so weird i can go from cutting my favourite person's initials into my skin and fantasising being with them forever to wanting them dead and screaming at them. i have LITERALLY tried to get help with this because im always getting attached to people and then hating them and wavering but nobody knows how to help??? the only ways i can cope are things that harm my mental and physical health and and AND i tried getting into a hospital therapist thing but APPARENTLY IM NOT STRUGGLING THAT BAD??? i'm trying to kill myself every other week dude I HAAATE HEALTH PROFESSIONALS SDJKFHERDTRKRFTILWGHUYN9LU