what is so wrong with me? i had nightmares consistently in 2025. some genuinely spooking me out, being stalked, watched, references to my sh, horrible things happening to me. i recovered a while but in all honesty, i find myself slipping back again and again. 2025 and 2026 have been really tricky years, ive hurt myself alot physically, emotionally and mentally. my parent had apparently noticed it, and only brought it up a few months ago during an argument. I feel restricted constraint, unable to move or create change. its always one step away, a better day, a better life..but i feel tired. i dont want to move. i dont want to lean on anyone. i dont know how to move. i dont know what to do with my ambitions. i feel miserable, i used to feel amazingly consistent. now i feel like a falling failing pebble that just gets kicked down a spiral stairway. idk...? what is wrong with me