i wouldn’t want to trigger anyone so trigger warning for self harm this past week i’ve attempted to cut myself three times. i feel so stupid because that’s all they are. attempts. i never go through with it because im a huge wimp and i hate pain, but god, i want to so bad. my life feels like it’s just getting worse. every time i think im getting better it’s just a manic episode or something similar. i’m tired of falling back into the same bad habits that only make my life harder. i’m failing in all my classes, ive missed more than like thirty days, i haven’t had any motivation to go to school. the days i do go, i end up skipping in the bathroom all day. counting down the hours. it’s so pathetic. such a stupid way to live. i obviously don’t WANT to live this way, but it’s like my body is rejecting any other path. i physically cannot break out of this cycle. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. no matter how much i vent it doesn’t help. everything feels hopeless.