I don't have the heart to keep living the life I lead. I'm going to die alone. Everyone I've ever loved isn't interested, they love others. I'm ugly, I'm stubborn, I'm awkward, and I'm just unfit to exist in the modern social scene. Or historical ones. I just don't belong in the world. People only value me for the work I can do. Yeah sure I can solve the occasional calculus or physics problem, but what's the point? Genuinely who cares? I am no more valuable to 90% of the people in my life than a calculator or an LLM. Anything human? No, that's not for me. I can just go exist alone in my little corner, out of sight and out of everyone's mind, because I'm not valuable if there's no work involved. I don't want to keep living. At all. I'm being guilt-tripped by a handful of people around me into staying in this hell because ohhhhh boo hoo they'll be oh so sad when their favorite worker bee drops dead. Fact is, I don't matter. There are no more than 8 people who would care if I disappeared.