i feel like my new friends only keep me around because it benefits them. i dont fully believe this, but it just nags me. im not used to being the smartest in a group, its usually the opposite. but ever since college started, ive been one of the top scorers for some subjects. and in general, im doing okay. was trying to be a powerhouse, but i feel like a failure. it doesnt help that my teacher laughed at me and asked if i even studied his subject. i get it, sir. your subject is easy. but i got the equivalent of a B, why are you laughing at me? it hurt so bad. i got so angry afterwards and just took it out on anyone who talked to me afterwards. i was such an ass. theres so much pressure. my family. my friends. my self. my previous school. i want to be better for me, for the latin honors. i want to prove im worth it, that i AM smart, not a wannabe. that im worth something.