Nobody understands how scary it is to realize you're trans in a world that harbors a lot of hateful sentiments towards trans people. I feel like I'll never be able to transition, unless society makes major progress in how they view transgender people. And even worse, I feel like a fraud. Because I can't transition right now, I feel like I don't deserve to claim that title for myself. But I literally am unable to transition right now. My parents ask for so little of me, they've never had any expectations of me, except that I was their son. That's how I was born, and that's how I will die, no matter how much I hate it. I feel ungrateful for not accepting the privilege I was born into. I don't have a menstrual cycle, and I don't have to worry about creepy men. But I just can't be content with being male. It feels like a performance, like something I do to not be a social outcast. I think I'm nonbinary, but I don't want to let down my family, or risk getting hatecrimed.