As I cut the rope wrapped around my neck while swinging from one state to another, I fell into the well and there I found a world where I had everything I wanted, I was okay, I was happy, I felt sufficient, I would not have the uncertainty of the recklessness of my actions. I could live in that world forever. Deep down I know that everything I'm seeing is just the reflection of the remaining water from the well I fell into. Perhaps I simply stopped caring about being deceived if it meant avoiding the cruel reality of my incompetence as a human being. If happiness is only this good in idealized futures in my head, then so be it while it lasts. —Mv