i want to get mental help so badly. like, i feel like i actually have issues, but i just don't know if i want to sacrafice my possible future career for a diagnosis. i've tried to kill myself twice, i had a huge self harm issue, i think i have anger issues? but the whole reason i feel all of these is because of my home life, specifically my mom and my sister. i am my best version when i am not around them and i truly feel that i could be so much better once i move out. at the same time, i need to talk to someone so bad before i actually go insane again. but then again, i would be so disappointed to not be able to pursue my dreams all because of my feelings right now.