Life is really hard for me right now. I feel like I’m drowning, and everyone keeps telling me that I’m still healing, but some days I honestly don’t even know what that means anymore. I still love him, but at the same time, I don’t. I hate him — and when I say hate, I mean I genuinely despise him for the pain he has caused me. How can someone hurt you to the point where putting yourself back together feels almost impossible? I don’t even know where to begin. I honestly don’t know who I am anymore, what I want, or where I’m going. I feel BROKEN. Most days I put on a smile and pretend I’m happy and that I’m okay, when the truth is, I’m not. I cry most mornings. I think about who I was before all of this — financially, emotionally, physically and mentally strong. I was an independent, unapologetic Black woman who felt like I was in one of the best places of my life, and then I met someone who stripped so much of that away from me. I was happy once. Now I’m hurting,