god i fucking hate myself so much, i’ve made so much progress and i normally don’t struggle with disordered eating habits to the degree that others do, but in the past few days i’ve overeaten, and i keep telling myself i’ll just even it out tomorrow. i haven’t evened it out because i’m a fucking greedy little bitch little fatass and i overate for my lunch today which never happens but it happened for the same reason i haven’t evened out these goddamn calories, so i swore i would eat nothing for the rest of the day but NOW IT TURNS OUT I GOTTA EAT AT A FUCKIN RESTAURANT which are SUPPOSED to be special occassions, i have no problem cheating on special occassions, BUT I’VE CHEATED ENOUGH TIMES ALREADY, I NEED DISCIPLINE IF I WANT A EVEN CHANCE AT JUST BARELY MAINTAINING THIS WEEK, IF I WANT EVEN A CHANCE AT ACTUALLU FUCKING CONTROLLING MYSELF goddamnit i wish i didnt overest like a fuckin fatass yesterday ajd the day before that and the day before THAT i really dont wanna gain pleas ple