Hey I don't know why I'm typing this but I'm genuinely tired I'm in my own way I'm feeling terrible like the biggest loser ever it happens when I'm alone with my self you know a voice just saying mean horrible things to you and funny enough most of them are true I'm slowly losing this battle with my demons and I don't know what to do and yeah I'm okay one minute the next I wish I never existed.......it's weird cause I just want someone to hold me and help me hold shit together but everyone's got shit going on and sulking just makes me more of a loser I'm scared I'm scared God im a mess I couldn't even keep you with me I lost you too many times and everytime it happened it hurts it's not your fault it's mine I'm just not worth the effort generally I know I'm weird I'm ME and being ME is alot lol uhm don't feel bad shit happens and I suck and bye thanks for sticking by me on and off im a lot I guess but I'm tired I'm losing badly I'm drowning slowly