I grew up in a Catholic family. I filled it for a while and when I was seven I started having questions. The priest would answer any questions I had and was very kind and not judgmental at all. Then I started learning more about things that would be happening in other countries or other horrible things and I lost respect for God. I left the church at 9 because I hated the people in it who would only follow the religion when it worked for them. Every one in a while I try to go back to God, I try to pray again, I want to go to church again because I want to re-find my religion, and I’ll get hopeful again. Then I get depressed and start hurting myself again. I blame God and it feels like a punishment for doing what I’m supposed to, but then I just start to think it’s because I’m a bad person and I ruin the lives of everyone around me and I continue being depressed and hating every part of myself and it has nothing to do with Him