I don’t know what’s happening but, it just feels like my mental health is getting worse and worse every single day no matter how much I try and change and be happy and distract myself. The feeling will never go away and no matter who I surrender myself with the feeling never goes away. Sometimes I wish I never became who I am. I’ve hurt so many people because of who I am. I’m such a horrible person. I tend to hold grudges against people and myself. I can’t let go of things and forgive people or communicate my emotions to them. It’s hard for me to express myself or understand what I’m feeling. It’s hard to regulate my feelings and emotions once I feel them, and all of sudden they bubble over and I pop. Like that one time I was practice driving, a driver honked at me and i started full on crying. I don’t know why I cried though. But I jst remember sobbing and crying “I can’t do it” in front of my father. It was so embarrassing. But it feels like anything sets me off and pushes me back.