I have had diagnosed ADHD ARND and AVPD since elementary school but only found out about my ARND when my parents told me recently. the last time i felt seen was middle school when I had a real friend group and relationship but once i switched 2 public high school she moved away and cut all contact with me. I started doing drugs as a coping mechanism and lost all my friends as a result. I have had the thought of being a girl since I was 7 but I have been repressing the thought because of my batshit crazy maga parents and just the media i have been surrounded with my whole life. I thought that hating religion and religious people would help but to be honest needlessly hating people because of the conditions imposed upon me all my life only made the pain that much worse. I just want to find myself and find peace for once but I dont know how.