I’ve been feeling worse, i cant get up out of bed, i ignore my health. I feel numb to the point where i only feel anger, sadness, and stress. I’ve started using a red pen to mimic the pain of cutting, Every-time im about to commit i feel at ease but i never do because im scared. I feel like im hyper sexual but i haven’t gotten it checked out, i have fantasies and fantasize about things im usually against or are disgusting. Even walking around my house and typing this feels like a heavy chore. I got SA’d, harassed, and assaulted by my friend sm times i couldn’t even count but i just dropped her and i feel bad because im a loser who barely has anyone as friends.