I am married from day one of my relationship with my husband he has been aware that I am poly for our whole relationship we have done things his way no one else just us we have had lovers but no one the way I need I do cam work and I met someone there we have talked for 3 years I am in love with this person my husband does not like this person at all so I hid it and now I continue to hide it this person is also married and is not interested in me the same way they want to keep having interactions on the phone but they do not love me and so I have pushed them away over and over said I needed a break we go months without speaking and the second that that name comes across my screen I am back to where I was head over heels weak in the knees bullshit and I have never met this person IRL I do not know what to do I do not know how to move forward or what I even want I just know I hate how I feel now.