I'm so mad at everyone who has been using my empathy and kindness against me like it hurts. It hurts so fucking deeply and I can't get rid of it because I feel things on a deep level and rn it's so bad I want to just go back to SH even tho I know it's gonna make me feel worse. I hate how kind, empathetic and patient I am because adding to that I also feel everything inside me very deeply and it runs my day to day life. I wish I had mine a switch that could turn off my emotions and feeling and let me just exist because I don't feel like love works for me. Last person I've dated broke up with me and ended up just saying that they moved on after checking my account for 3 months straight every other week. While the other relationship ended because I got cheated on. Like what the fuck did I do wrong? I loved those people and I wanted to work things out overtime but why no one can communicate Nova days?? Why do I have to put so much of myself to just get this shitty treatment.