TW sh vent if your at risk of relapsing or at risk of staring to sh PLEASE DO NOT READ im so proud of u for staying clean no matter for how long and I wouldn’t want to cause any damage :( idk if it’s the same for other people, but the reason I cut myself is for the blood. It feels validating, like maybe this entirely emotional pain can become something real. Aside from the obvious dopamine rush, seeing those drops of blood emerge from a tiny scratch feels somewhat…validating. However, there comes a time when a little scratch seems too small to fully encapsulate what it’s supposed to represent. My low pain tolerance is so fucking annoying, because then I don’t have the balls to just cut deeper, even if I want to. I want to see just how far I can cut, but with my humble eyebrow razor I doubt I’d be able to do much damage. This desire to cut and cut and cut deeper so so fucking disgusting and pathetic, it makes me want to just fucking cut my throat next…