so, ik this is anonymous, but i did a lil vent about how i hated myself in preschool-now so, imma continue. Life was.. okay, until the end of second grade. i started hanging out with a girl named lucy, and she was super kind! One day, my friend sidney comes up to me, and says, “I don’t like Lucy. I was your friend first, and you’re only supposed to have me as a friend.” I actually think my friendship with sid is how i lost the ability to form my own opinions. it affects me even now. She’d spread rumors about me to lucy. In third grade, the suicidal thoughts started. one day, sid was mad at me, and said this to me, “well fuck off! I’ve had four suicidal thoughts in my life, and you’re the reason for all of them!” In front of our whole class. They all looked at me, and i started SOBBING. i was eight, i was pathetic, and I just got accused by my friend of making her want to commit suicide. I started thinking about those thoughts, myself, and that year i attempted over 18 times.