If I have to have one more "heart-to-heart" with my mom where literally nothing changes at all afterwards I'm gonna fucking lose it. She doesn't actually care that she hurt me she just wants me to forgive her so she doesn't feel guilty anymore. I tell her that her not using my new name and only calling me by a nickname to avoid it really hurts, and we have this whole big conversation about it and she promises to start calling me by my name. And yet it's still "youngest child" every time. She still calls me they and avoids any and all gendered words for me. It literally hasn't changed. I tell her that I feel unseen and unimportant during the TTRPG games she runs, and she tells me she'll do better, but it's still the same every time. She thinks just apologizing is enough. Just saying she'll try to be better is enough. But she never actually DOES anything. She never actually tries and I'm so exhausted.