I was worried for so long that I was in love with her and in denial, but I've known I'm not for some time now. I just know I care about her a lot more than I typically do for people I feel platonically about. But I would never want to kiss her or do anything more, the thought repulses me. I just want to be close to her, have someone I can rely on to just be there. Problem is that the vulnerability gets to me. My whole body is telling me I need to escape whenever I can hear her breathing. How the fuck am I supposed to talk to her about this??? I don't want to stop hugging and laying around and stuff but my fight or flight won't leave me alone.
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