16 and a bum. Got no job, don't got a realistic career path, and shit always feels rough. Its like im always behind on everything, the only thing that ive been good at is this music shit and even then its like the fans I do have aren't really fans. I got trust issues with all my friends except my parents but even then, im disappointing them in every way. I always resort to maladaptive daydreaming to just escape my reality, and theres always a loop where I snap out of it, realize what im doing is wrong, try to change, and because of my lack of discipline I go back to my old ways. I'm just pathetic like theres no way around it, my friends can see it too. Its like im close with them, but its not the same way around. I don't know why I think like this I dont know why I am like this. If I could chose to restart my life and not be me, I would take that in a heartbeat. I know for a fact too that once im done writing this im gonna forget about this website and go back to my old ways. Idk man.