I knew that getting into an expensive & competitive school was hard, but maybe I'm just not fit for this after all. I wanted to get out of my shell and try a new environment as a refresher, but this might just be a cause of my burnout. I have to travel 2 hours to get there, it sucks and I spend most of my money to commuting. It is also a cause of my frustrations when I have to ask for money. Like, I'm in an expensive school they're struggling to afford, what more do I want? I feel so ungrateful. I feel so untalented. It's like, I'm trying so hard for nothing because they all do it without much effort and they do it well and I try hard but I'm nowhere near as good as them and I am losing my motivation, I am losing my discipline to wake up early. I am late to most of my classes, the deadlines are piling up. I am also an ungrateful daughter and I can be a selfish friend as well. I feel so tired to gaf about anyone's feelings but my own right now and it takes so much of me to care.